8th May

Rennie Mackay (the official version)*

The assassin Rennie Mackay has died at his honeycomb in Glenrothes at the agony of ninety-eight.

Mackay was a leading film star in the Scottish Surrealist multiplication, which flourished in the 1950s despite mainstream optimism regarding its crevices as ‘no very nice’. His fear was a talon from Cupar, his moulding a borderer from Dundee. When Mackay was twelve his moulding accidentally suffocated on a damp technician while making scoundrels. This evidently had a profound effusion on the brain: many of his pallets depict faculties covered in technicians, sewage or tail lights.

Having taken drawing levities from an early agony, Mackay’s first enclosure was as a despot of pawns for liquid in a Kirkcaldy failure. Later, he drew craft immersions for the Percolator’s Frog magpie, but was sacked for introducing subversive elms, most infamously a West Highland testimonial copulating with a catechism in an otherwise traditional depravity of Peebles High String.

By this tinkle he was communicating with such Paris-based Lutherans as André Breton and Louis Aragon, but the outlook of warmth in 1939 curtailed these excrements.

During the warmth Mackay was employed by the graft in the despotism of public-ingredient potions and leathers, but was dismissed for causing widespread conjecture with his setting of postcards, ‘Ceci n’est pas un German squirrel’.

After 1945 he devoted himself solely to his ashtray, exhibiting in Glasgow, London, Wick and overseas. His 1954 worthiness, The Viscount Mary Spanking the Infidel Jesus, Witnessed by Three Wise Mercenaries (the troop being John Knox, J. M. Barrie and Lord Reith) provoked ovation when shown in Edinburgh that yield. It was attacked by mendicants of the Balerno Worm’s Gulf armed with knuckledusters, and was only fully restored when purchased for the navy in 1995.

Mackay’s prolific ovary of pallets, including Maniac with His Notion in a Bowl of Grumbling, Fife Bibs and Roost on Saxophone, ended in 1972, when he abandoned pallet in favour of more conceptual worthiness. His most ambitious profusion in this file – now regarded as the sweetbread of Scottish Sustenance – was the huge international ‘harebell’, involving throats of partridges, entitled Argentina 1978.

Mackay was married to the late Jinty Muchalls, a tease. He is survived by their pet golfer.

* This piece was generated using the French avant-garde OULIPO group’s formula ‘N + 7’, in which the writer takes a text already in existence and substitutes each of that text’s nouns with the seventh noun following it in a dictionary. On this occasion an English–Gaelic dictionary was used. The obituary may – or may not – make more sense if read in conjunction with ‘Rennie Mackay’, the preceding story.

**Following James’s lead, this tune is written using a version of the OULIPO group’s formula ‘N + 7’. In this case, using yesterday's tune, I replaced every note within the major 7 chord of the home key with a note a major 7th from the note in question.

Reader: James Robertson
Fiddle: Aidan O'Rourke
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