31st March


Ye want tae seen it, man. This suit gets oan the bus, looks like a lawyer or somethin, but he’s big, ken, ye widna mess wi him. He’s goat wan o thae suitcases like a dug on a lead, and he pits it in the luggage rack and he comes and sits doon at the back. And we’re headin up the toon and the bus comes tae a stoap, folk are gettin aff and suddenly the guy’s chairgin doon the bus like a fuckin bull, yellin at the driver tae haud the door. So whit it is is this boay’s liftit the suitcase and he’s awa aff the bus wi it, but the driver hauds the door and the guy’s oot efter him. Well, the boay hisnae goat a chance, has he, he’s jist a wee skinny lad, a junkie, he mustae thoaht there wis somethin in the case worth chancin it for, ken, but it’s that heavy the big man catches him efter aboot twenty yairds, he grabs the case wi wan haun and the boay wi the ither, then he draps the case and whacks the boay right in the mooth. And the driver’s pulled up alangside so’s we can aw see, and folk are gaun, well, that’s whit ye get, and the guy hits him again, jist melts him, but he keeps at it, doof, doof, doof, and noo folk are gaun ooh and ah and driver, tell him tae stoap, I mean it wis brutal, man. So the driver shouts at him, that’s enough, pal, eh? and the guy looks up, there’s blood aw ower the junkie’s face, and he lands wan mair punch oan him, probly broke his fuckin nose, then he picks up the suitcase and gets back oan the bus. I’ll decide when it’s enough, he says tae the driver, and he pits the case back in the luggage rack and gies the haill bus a stare, then he comes and sits in the same seat again. See at the next stoap, jist aboot everybody except me goat aff, and we wurnae even up the toon yet. Tellin ye, man, it wis mental, ye want tae seen it.

Reader: Tam Dean Burn
Fiddle: Aidan O'Rourke
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